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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816989">The Last Time Virgil Gets Questioned By The Cops</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease'>keepquietplease</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abused Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Angst, Blind Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, But not in a sexual way - Freeform, Cannibalism, Guns, He said No, I'll Never Tell, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealous Patton, Killing cops, Multi, Murder, Oral Fixation, Shooting Guns, Virgil isn't allowed to drink other people's blood, Virgil stole guns!, abuse mention, in the therapeutic way, maybe???, nicotine addiction, so lightly touched on</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:41:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His hair was found on a crime scene.  His blood type.  He shared the same blood as the twins, but they weren't the first people the cops decided to question.  Sadly, it was Virgil.</p><p>Or:</p><p>Virgil gets therapy challenge 2020</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Everyone, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides First And Last Thing AU [17]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Last Time Virgil Gets Questioned By The Cops</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Author fact: guess who bought one of those necklaces you bite because I wanted to eat my hands during the debate?  Me.  I got one that's shaped like a UFO.  I had a really bad time that night, and I watched the whole thing so I could be aware of what was going on, but I did not have a great time.  I watched half the Lorax (kids movies help me calm down) before I started panicking about not being able to sleep, and then the computer turned off and I fell asleep listening to The Empty Bowl (a cereal podcast (and yes, I spelled cereal correctly)).  Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert helped me fall asleep talking about breakfast cereal.</p><p>Also, fun fact: during the second installment, blood was supposed to be used as lube, but I was too scared to write smut.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Virgil hummed as he listened to the pet store owner describe each rat to him.  He was down to two who were apparently very cuddly.  Patton would like that, and he could keep them in his hoodie if they got cold.  One was a dumbo rat, and the other was a standard.  He was very tempted to buy both, and he was sold once the person said they did better in groups.  He agreed to purchase both of them, and he'd just surprise Patton.  He was very excited, especially since the home he made for them was big enough.  He paid before exiting the store, the cage in hand.  He was going to take the bus back to his stop, and one of his boyfriends was going to pick him up.  He made it a third of the way to the bus stop before he felt a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"Excuse me, sir?"</p><p>Virgil frowned.  He knew that voice.  The same cop who questioned him after his professor 'disappeared' all those years ago.  A little older and more hoarse, sure, but the voice was easy to distinguish.  "Hello?"</p><p>"Sir, I have to ask you to come with me."</p><p>Oh fuck.  What'd he do?  He was sure no one knew of his crimes.  He didn't kill or eat outside of the house.  There was no way they would have known.  "May I ask why?"</p><p>"We just want to ask you a few questions.  If you would come with us."</p><p>"I just got my pets, and I should really be getting them home so they can run around."</p><p>"It'll only be a minute, if you would."</p><p>Virgil nodded, his shoulders tensing up as he realized he was trapped.  He tried to think of any excuse he had.  He tried to think of ways to twist his words or edit his stories so they'd technically be true.  There was no real way out of this.  Still, he should let someone know.  "Can I call my family?  They'll be wondering where I've gone."</p><p>Silence.  He didn't know if the officer nodded or shook his head.  He carefully raised his cane, hearing a small 'oh' come out of the officer.  "Go ahead."</p><p>He stepped back, quickly calling the home phone.  As soon as someone picked up, he began.  "I'm going to be late.  I got stopped by the police, and they want to ask me some questions.  I'll call when I'm on my way home."</p><p>"Are you okay?  Oh fuck, we have to get you out of there."  Remus was the one who picked up, and Virgil wished he could panic like his boyfriend was.  </p><p>"I'm fine.  I'll just be late.  Tell everyone that when I get home, we should work on my camera.  I think the lens is broken."  </p><p>Code words.  They came up with these years ago.  He wasn't going to keep it together, and he needed help.  Preferably, they'd get him out of there before things turned south.  Realistically, he'd have to answer some questions and wait for something drastic to happen at the station, allowing him to leave.  A false call, or maybe the power would cut out.  Anything to get him out of there.</p><p>"I have to go.  I love you."</p><p>"Wait--"</p><p>Virgil hung up, slipping the phone in his pocket.  He followed the officer to his car, getting in the backseat.  He dipped his fingers into the cage, smiling as one of the mice pushed its head against his ring finger.  He listened to the car slowly start up.  He counted to ten and back down, trying to stay calm.  He didn't understand why he was being questioned.  He just spent the last two months not killing.  He was going to in a couple days.  There was nothing they could prove or accuse him of.  </p><p>"So, you could see just fine last time we talked."  The officer said, tapping against the steering wheel.</p><p>"It was a terrible incident that took place.  I'm lucky to have people who care about me, but it was painful.  It was taken care of."  How long would this drive take?  He wanted this to be over already.  "Why am I being brought into questioning?"</p><p>"We just found evidence leading to you from a particular crime scene.  Your blood was found on the scene."</p><p>Shit.</p><p>"My exact blood, or my blood type?"</p><p>"Blood type, but your hair was also on the scene, right next to the body."</p><p>Virgil wasn't messy.  He was careful about this stuff.  "Where was this crime scene?"</p><p>"Will that made a difference?"</p><p>"Maybe.  Was there a decomposing corpse that looked about two or so years dead at the crime scene?  Because that was self defense.  I was being tortured.  I had to fight back.  I can tell you everything about that--"</p><p>"The corpse wasn't that old.  I would love to hear about this as well."</p><p>Virgil bit his tongue, fear and anxiety building in his body.  He was digging himself into a hole.  As long as he didn't bring up his lovers.  He could lie easily for them.  He sat up, frowning.  "Self defense is a perfectly good reason, right?  I mean, I was being tortured, and he was going to kill me.  I thought I was going to die.  I had to fight back before he could finish the job, so I grabbed his gun and shot him.  I had to fight back in that case.  I was so happy to get the upper hand, but I don't want to go to jail because I didn't want to die.  Is that the case?"</p><p>"We'll see."  The officer responded, and the car was silent.  Fuck.  Virgil fucked up.  He, at least, kept the others a secret from that situation.  He would rather die than break their cover.  </p><p>The air was suffocating, and Virgil couldn't bring himself to do his breathing exercises.  The radio at the front occasionally buzzed on and there was a report of something minor.  Speeding and a minor break in around the edge of town were the two he could pick up.  The mice were squeaking as the ride continued.  If he went to jail, could he bring the mice home first?  Would they be given away?  Such trivial thoughts, but everything seemed to be worth thinking about.  He honestly couldn't think of a crime scene he'd have DNA present at.  Maybe Patton accidentally did, but he doubted it.  Hairs, sure, but blood?  Maybe the victim had the same blood type.  He didn't know.  The twins had his blood type, so maybe them.  Suddenly, the car stopped, and the cop got out.  He followed, his stomach aching.  Why was he having such a terrible reaction to this?  He should feel confident.  Janus always said this part was easy.  Just lie and charm the officers.  He could do that.</p><p>He was brought into a room.  The air was cool, and the seat he was ushered to felt like ice.  It helped a bit.  He needed that to bring him back.  There was a short, loud scrape, and the interrogation began.</p><p>"Now, do you see this image?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"A woman, maybe age forty, with half her face missing."</p><p>"That sounds horrifying."  Virgil didn't know this one.  From his experience, he never tore off a face without using the rest of the body.  "When did she die?"</p><p>"She seemingly died a week ago."  The smell of a cigar wafted around the room, making Virgil cringe.  </p><p>"Hey, can you put that out?  I'm trying to quit, and it can't be good for my rats."</p><p>"Can you explain how your hair got to the crime scene?"  The cigar didn't go out, and Virgil felt like he was going to scream.  This sucked.</p><p>"No.  I can't.  If you want me to be honest, a week ago I spent the day finishing up a scarf at home.  My partner gets cold easily, and I wanted to learn.  Are you sure it's my hair?"</p><p>"Positive."</p><p>"The victim's blood type?"</p><p>"Not yours, if that's what you're wondering."</p><p>"I honestly can't tell you.  I've been at home for the most part.  I would never take someone's face off like that.  I never killed this woman."</p><p>"But you've killed before?"</p><p>"As I told you, I was being held in someone's basement.  They cut off my ear, my hand, pulled a couple teeth, and blinded me.  I was lucky to get a hand replantation, but during the time I was unsure if I would survive.  He was sloppy, and I was able to escape after shooting him.  It was a lucky shot on my end, but I managed and got away.  I couldn't escape without killing him.  He found me once, and he'd do it again.  He was determined to kill me and anyone I loved.  We already sorted this out.  Can you please put the cigar out?"</p><p>"Please explain your DNA at the crime scene."</p><p>"I can't.  I don't know where the crime scene is.  If she ever took the same bus as me on a crowded day, that's how the hair would get on her.  I'm O positive.  Lots of people match my blood type.  Are you going to question every person in this city with that blood type?"</p><p>"I refuse to believe hair can get on you from being on the same bus."</p><p>"You'd be surprised how close people have to be on busy days.  It's very uncomfortable.  I've definitely gotten off the bus with hair on me that wasn't mine.  I don't understand.  Were my fingerprints there?"</p><p>"No--"</p><p>"Then I wasn't there.  Case closed."</p><p>"You could've wiped them off or worn gloves.  Did you?"</p><p>"I didn't commit this crime.  Why would I get rid of fingerprints and not the hair?  Are you sure it's my hair?  Last time you did a test I was in my early twenties."</p><p>The officer clicked his tongue, tapping his foot every third second.  There was chatter outside.  Someone made a joke about coffee, and it got absolutely no reactions.  Some coughing, and then someone mentioned their computer just shut down.  Then affirmation from someone else that their computer had done the same.  The lights began to flicker, and Virgil let himself relax.  They were getting him out of there, one way or another.  The officer blew smoke in his face, making him wince.</p><p>"We're positive it's your hair.  You're not getting out of this because of light issues.  We can have this discussion in the dark."</p><p>"I'd be happy to, officer.  Do I get to speak with my lawyer?"</p><p>"Do you have one?"</p><p>Virgil remained quiet.  He did not.</p><p>"I thought so.  You didn't back then.  No family lawyer?"</p><p>"Nope."  Virgil heard more commotion from outside.  Claims of a virus on their devices now.  The lights went out, and Virgil patted one of the mice on the head.  The officer didn't move, and it was worrying Virgil more and more. "My family and I weren't on the best of terms when they were alive.  They didn't mean to have me, and they made sure I knew it."</p><p>"Did you know this victim was a registered abuser?"</p><p>"I didn't.  Fascinating.  Can you put out the cigar?"</p><p>"Would you like one?"</p><p>Yes.  "No."</p><p>"If you answer honestly, I'll put the cigar out."</p><p>"I told you the truth.  I didn't kill her.  I don't appreciate you trying to produce a fake confession out of me."</p><p>The door slammed open, and someone asked the officer to come help with something.  He put the cigar out, finally, and stood.  "We'll be taking your DNA again to see if it still matches the source.  Stay put.  You can still be trialled for the crime you admitted to."</p><p>"Alright," Virgil listened to the door close.  He stretched his arms, cracking his neck.  "You watching?"</p><p>The lights began to flicker.  He was extremely thankful he could still distinguish shades.  It was getting harder as he got older, but he was still able to see the pattern.  Morse code.  Yes, they were watching.</p><p>"I mean, better me than you, right?"</p><p>More flickering.  Absolutely fucking not.</p><p>"I think we can find a way to get me out of here, right?  I mean, I don't mind being in jail for awhile, but the rats.  They need to go home."</p><p>The lights remained off.  They were either plotting something or they already began.  He waited awhile, getting bored.  He reached for the cigar, and the lights immediately began to flicker again.  Don't touch it.  He pouted, but he put his hand down.  It was tempting.  The lights came back on, and the door opened.  The officer let out a loud sigh, sitting across from him again.</p><p>"When you say you 'sorted it out,' you should mention you talked to the local police there.  We found it in your record.  We'll still be doing a DNA test--"</p><p>"Do you have a warrant?"</p><p>Now the officer was silent.  Virgil at a younger age may have not known when a warrant was required, but he sure as hell did now.</p><p>"Get one first, and then you can find me.  I go shopping at the deli on Wednesdays around noon, if you need to find me.  May I go?  I have to get these little guys home.  My partner will be so excited to see them."</p><p>There was another exclamation from outside, and the officer sighed.  "You're free to go.  We'll be getting a warrant."</p><p>"I'd hope so."  Virgil stood up, collecting his things.  He made his way out of the station, pausing once he reached the street.  He felt his nerves rush back into him like a tidal wave.  He could be as strong as he wanted and joke that he wasn't needed, but he was terrified.  For a brief moment, he wasn't being watched by the cops or his lovers, and he could feel fear without the guilt gnawing away at him.  He knew he was safe the whole time, but it didn't help at all.  He bit his thumb gently, trying to calm down.  That could've been it.  Why did he admit so much?  Why was his hair at a crime scene?  What was happening?</p><p>His phone dinged.  Once, twice, thrice, and it kept going.  He kept walking, trying to find a bus stop.  He put his headphones in, listening to his phone read out the messages.  There were a lot of texts.  Begging him to stay put so they could pick him up.  One said Janus was on his way with Logan, so he stopped walking.  He moved back so he wouldn't be blocking anyone walking by.  A couple were general checkups, asking if he was alright.  One was Roman chastising him for admitting to a murder, and going as far as taking the blame for their murder.  A couple more were plots of revenge.  He smiled a bit at those.  Especially when Remus threatened to castrate the officer.  He'd love to experience that.  He waited patiently, listening as more messages came in.  All the awful things they'd do to that cop once they got their hands on him.  He took his headphones out as they kept going, putting the phone in his pocket.  He would save those messages for later.  Still, he felt like puking.  That was a close call, and if Logan didn't fake those documents--</p><p>"Virgil?"  Speak of the devil.  "Jesus, your face.  Get in the car."</p><p>He walked towards the car, opening the backseat door and sliding in.  He gripped the mouse cage, putting on a brave, smug expression once more.</p><p>"Darling," Janus spoke quietly, as if anything louder would shatter him.  "Do you want to--"</p><p>"Thank god it was me, right?  Let's go.  I want to introduce everyone to these two."</p><p>"You know you don't have to fake being fine, right?  You always let it build up until you can't pretend, and then we have issues."</p><p>"I'm really okay.  I wasn't worried, and I'd be fine with going to jail for you all.  Can we just go?"</p><p>The car slowly accelerated, and Virgil curled his toes.  There was no way he was going to open up.  Not unless he was forced to, which is why it was tragic he was with these two.  A nurse and a would-be therapist.  He'd rather try to lie to Patton.  Logan reached back, putting a hand on his thigh.  "You're not expendable."</p><p>"What?  Of course I am.  That's the point.  I want--I was--" the panic returned, and his smile faltered.  "I'm completely expendable.  That's why I wasn't scared.  Because if I somehow mean anything to you all, there's consequences."</p><p>"You mean a great deal to us.  Even if you didn't, there'd be consequences for you.  You're a person with complex emotions.  You can be scared for yourself."</p><p>"Stop doing your fucking therapy thing."</p><p>"It's okay to be scared.  It was your first run-in as a criminal, and it's natural to be afraid of giving away too much information.  You're allowed to be honest."</p><p>"I'm not lying!"</p><p>"You can cry."</p><p>"I'm not going to cry!  I'm--"</p><p>"You already are."</p><p>He quickly rubbed his eyes, only to find them dry.  Logan squeezed his thigh.</p><p>"Why'd you check if you're sure you won't cry?"</p><p>Something broke inside of him.  His eye twitched, and he began sobbing.  Wailing as if he was a child who broke his favorite toy.  The car quickly swerved, pulling over.  Logan unbuckled his seatbelt, quickly followed by Janus.  He took the mouse cage, putting it down on the floor near the passenger seat before getting out of the car.  Virgil found himself quickly sandwiched between the two, unable to stop crying.  He had never gotten this upset in front of them before.  Sure, he got emotional before, but he would just get angry.  He looked utterly defeated, trying to cover his eyes in hopes that would make the tears cease.  Janus rubbed circles into his back, shushing him gently.  Virgil tried to speak, but it came out as another sob.</p><p>"It's alright, love."  Janus whispered, wiping his cheeks free of tears.  "You can cry all you want.  It's alright.  Not everyone likes lying to cops.  How worried were you the first time you got questioned?"</p><p>Virgil began to cry harder, making Janus curse.</p><p>"Sorry, I didn't mean to--"</p><p>"Virgil, it's fine to cry.  Would you care for me to stay back here with you?  Patton's getting worried that it's taking us such a long time to get you back.  I gave them the tracker for your phone, and he's wondering why we stopped."</p><p>Virgil's breath hitched.  Fuck, he didn't want Patton to see him like this.  He didn't want anyone to see him like this.  He didn't know how long this had been building up, but it had definitely been accumulating since before he was twelve.  He finally was able to breathe, sniffling and wiping his face.  He started thinking about it again, and he began crying again.  Janus pressed a kiss to his cheek, getting back into the driver's seat.  Logan buckled his seatbelt for him, keeping a hold onto his arm.  He finally calmed down once they got to the dirt road leading into the woods, leaning against Logan's head as he hiccuped, eyes burning.  He closed his eyes, feeling the car come to a stop.  Fuck, he didn't want to go in there.  He didn't want to have to deal with them.  He wanted to pass out.</p><p>"Doll?  You ready to head inside?"  Janus reached back, taking his hand.  "Do you want us to bring the mice in?"</p><p>Virgil nodded, rubbing his eyes roughly.  "Do I look like shit?  I think my makeup got messed up."</p><p>"It did, but it's fine."</p><p>"Can I have a minute?  I don't think I can--just let me collect myself--wait--"</p><p>Logan scooped him up, yanking him out of the car and heading to the house as Janus grabbed his stuff.  He kicked the door open, and Virgil felt overwhelmed again.  Logan sat down, keeping him on his lap as Janus entered and put the mice in their new home.</p><p>"Virgil isn't allowed near cops."</p><p>"No shit.  He almost got himself arrested!"  Roman scoffed.  "Honestly, what were you--"</p><p>"Can we not talk about it?"  He meant to have a sharp tone, but his voice cracked.  He rubbed his eyes quickly, trying not to break down again.  It wasn't working.  He was going to start crying again.  "I fucked up.  I know that, and I'll just shut up next time.  I can have this conversation when I calm down.  If we have it now, it won't go anywhere."</p><p>"He needs water."  Janus said calmly, going to the kitchen.  "I've never seen him this upset before.  Patton, you've been with him the longest, how does he express fear?"</p><p>"He gets mad and snippy like he's trying to now."  </p><p>"He didn't get mad in the car."</p><p>Virgil tried to get up, but Logan tightened his grip.  "The police reports were easy to fake, and it's not like everyone here has a perfect track record.  I've made countless reports for all of you, except Janus because he's never needed it, but the rest of you have.  My biggest concern right now is making sure Virgil isn't questioned by the police without a script again.  He gave a time and day where they could find him, so our next step is planning a set-up.  We need to bring them here and kill whoever tries to arrest him.  My other concern is how his hair got on a crime scene.  I'll be deleting that from their reports once I'm able to.  Who did it?"</p><p>"It's probably all three of us."  Remus confessed before clearing his throat.  "We went on a quick murder spree once we got home, and that was after hugging Virgil, so it could've been me, Roman, or Patton."</p><p>"It can't happen again.  Either clean the crime scene or wait to hold him.  I never want to see that level of fear again.  We broke through anger and got all of this pent up sadness.  I'm sure he's exhausted.  Are you?"</p><p>"Yeah?"  Virgil sniffed.</p><p>"Exactly.  You can go now."</p><p>Virgil scooted off of his lap, taking the glass of water from Janus, sipping it.  He shuffled to the bedroom, listening to them continue their conversation without him.  He closed the door, put the glass on the nightstand, curled under the covers, and began to cry.  He felt like a coward, but he could get his facade back up once he was done.  He'd be back to normal in an hour or two.</p><p>For now, though, he would sleep.</p><hr/><p>"Hello officer!  Sorry, I just need to grab a few things.  A search warrant, you said?"</p><p>Virgil was at the market, feeling the different cantaloupes.  They were finally in season, and Patton wanted them for fruit salads.  The police were waiting for him at the front of the store, right at noon.  They allowed him to shop under their surveillance.  There were four of them following him around, answering when he asked which piece of produce looked fresh.  He was taking his time, keeping his usual pace.  The main officer grunted.</p><p>"Yes, we've gained a warrant to search your home."</p><p>"Oh!  How fun!  Now, we do have a no smoking rule there, but I'm sure Jan will join you outside for one.  Hm, I need to get cinnamon bread.  Can you help me with that?  Might as well, since you're following me."</p><p>He made his way to the bread aisle.  He had the store memorized.  He held out his basket as one of them dropped the loaf in.</p><p>"My new family tends to be overprotective of me.  I'm sorry if they're hostile at any point.  These last few days have been stressful, to say the least.  Alright, let me just--" Virgil put one of his headphones in, listening to the automated voice read out the rest of the groceries.  Ardrahan cheese, tomato paste, and red wine.  He was also grabbing blueberries for the mice, but their main entree would come after the visit.  He read they were omnivores, so he might as well let them have the same feast as his crows did.  He made his way back to the fruit, grabbing a carton of blueberries.  "Do these look suitable?"</p><p>"Can we hurry this up, sir?"</p><p>"Just a few more items, really.  Just to last my husband the week.  I might need ham.  I think we have suitable dinner options, but maybe not.  Trust me, the longer we take, the better it'll be.  Give them time to calm down and get things in order.  I usually clean up the place for guests, but they're setting everything up today.  We guessed that you'd get a search warrant.  It's only natural.  Will you help me find ardrahan?  I love a strong, meltable cheese.  Then I just need a couple more items, I promise."  </p><p>They got more and more impatient, but they waited until he finished paying.  He was escorted to one of their vehicles, content to keep the grocery bags at his legs as they drove.  He hummed as they talked to each other over the radio, giving status updates every two minutes.  The drive wasn't long at all.  Less than ten minutes.  Still, he could practically taste their tension when they realized they had to go off the main road.  There wasn't much in that forest, so it must've been confusing.  They almost missed their turn.  He hopped out of the car a couple minutes after they parked.  He dug the key out of his pocket, opening the door to their little abode.  He let the cops in.  He put away the groceries as they began to inspect the living room.</p><p>"Over the past few days, I've discovered a very interesting fact.  I don't think my family would last a day without me at this point.  Imagine having all your meals cooked for you, every mess cleaned up, and all your intimate needs met with a single demand.  Sure, I'd take the blame for whatever they did in an instant, but I'd be back here in less than a day.  They rely on me to fulfill any and all desires.  I didn't rip that woman's face off, but I'll gladly clean up their mistakes.  I've got to say, for a blind man, I've learned to pickpocket well."  Virgil said as he took the cops' guns and tasers out of his grocery bag.  "I personally hate using weapons.  My hands and teeth are enough, but there's four of you.  Forgive me if I'm rusty.  It's been a couple months."</p><p>He quickly turned around, and shot two of them.  The dark shade of their uniforms clashed with the newly painted white walls and light wooden floors.  He tutted, putting it down.  He smiled, feeling for a taser.  He switched the safety off, hearing a small creak from the bedroom.  He was wondering where they were hiding out.  </p><p>"Question: if I happen to, say, shoot one of these in your mouth, what would happen?  I've always wondered.  Any volunteers?  Oh, and feel free to try and attack me.  I'm much weaker than I look."</p><p>One of them moved forward, and he grabbed a knife to pin their hand to the counter.  Virgil decided to test out his idea, shoving the taser in their mouth and firing.  It was enough to make the cop stop moving.  He pulled the knife out of the hand and stabbed the officer right through the neck, turning to face the last officer.  He heard clicking, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out the batteries he took out of their radios when they parked.</p><p>"Did you actually think I was struggling with the groceries?  I take the bus each week.  I can carry a couple of bags and hold my cane.  I just needed a cover for why I took so long.  If I did this correctly, you should be the cop who kept smoking that cigar?  I'm going to have fun with you.  I should clean up first, so have fun with my lovers.  I really didn't expect them to let me do most of the work.  They are, after all, very worried about my wellbeing."  Virgil pulled the knife out of the one, licking it clean as he heard their footsteps.  A hand was on his hip, and he kissed the person it belonged to.  It was Janus.  There was a little bit of poison on his lips, identifying him quickly.  Just enough so Virgil's mouth would be numb for an hour.  Enough to keep him on his toes.</p><p>"Anything you'd like in particular?"  Patton asked, breaking the officer's left arm.</p><p>"I'd love to have him nailed to something not connected to the house.  That way I don't have to worry about damaging anything important.  I don't want him moving, so make it tight.  Thank you, love.  I'm going to grab the cleaning supplies and start with the blood."</p><p>He had come to love screams of agony as background noise.  He got to cleaning quietly, having Janus help him with moving the bodies.  Two would be getting buried by Patton.  The one who was tased and the head officer, however, would be turned into meals.  He needed to get back into cooking.  He got back to a nice, clean room.  The only clutter was the blood coming from the officer's wrists and ankles where spikes were driven through.  He was pinned to a wooden board.  Virgil kneeled on the floor next to him.</p><p>"I don't usually rip off faces.  I like snapping necks and strangling people.  Oh god.  I turned into my father."</p><p>"Save it for therapy."  Logan said with a pat to his shoulder.  They were starting those sessions again so Virgil could healthily process his emotions.</p><p>"Okay, yeah.  Thanks, babe.  As I was saying, I like taking it slow.  I want to take it very slow with you.  Pat, honey, can I have the sewing equipment?  I'm starting with the nose.  Oh, and don't worry about your coworkers back at the station.  Logan already filed a report.  Crashing your car like that?  Tragic.  Good thing someone already came by to collect the corpses.  A closed casket funeral was requested by your families due to the horrible injuries you sustained.  No one wants to see their spouse with half a head."</p><p>Patton was already back, helping him make the first stitch.  Virgil worked at a snail's pace, making sure each stitch was snug, not letting a hint of air in or out.  The officer was screaming threats, telling him he knew it was him all along.  </p><p>"Oh, really?  The short, blind, disabled guy killed four police officers who had weapons and were bigger than him?  I doubt people will believe that.  Good thing I already have a limp.  Easier to sell I survived the crash.  I'll manage to scrap myself a bit.  Maybe sprain my wrist or--oh, has it been a year?  I can get sick, right?"</p><p>"Why do you--yes.  You can get sick for this week.  You not being able to move might help sell the car accident thing.  Just not for too long."  Patton said, pinching his cheek.</p><p>"I've been experimenting with some of my ingredients.  He'll get a fever, having trouble walking, and be very cold, but no other repercussions.  A lot of cuddling will be in order, but that's about it."  Janus cooed, brushing his hair back.  "You're doing such a good job with stitching.  Patton taught you well."</p><p>"He did, and now I can stitch my body up after fights."</p><p>"I would never let you."  Patton pressed a kiss to his cheek.  "We take care of you after fights."</p><p>Virgil turned his head to kiss him, smiling as the officer tried to squirm.  He only achieved in damaging his body more.  He pulled away from Patton to continue his work, finishing up the nose.  He tapped the officer's lips with the needle.  "This is fun, isn't it?  Gotta say, I was kind of worried earlier.  Thought I'd be in prison.  I'd get sick again if I went there.  My diet wouldn't be welcomed in a prison, and you can only eat so much raw meat before you get ill.  What blood type are you?"</p><p>The officer spat in his face, hitting him right on the chin.  Virgil wiped it off, frowning.  He slipped his finger to his wrist, dipping it in the pooling blood and bringing it to his mouth.</p><p>"Mm, AB.  Patton's the same.  Very sweet and light.  I love this type.  Maybe I should just drain you."</p><p>"You could easily keep drinking mine."</p><p>"Pat, I don't--I'm not letting you continue to hurt yourself so I can drink.  I don't care if the blood type's rare.  I'll deal."</p><p>He covered his finger in blood again, licking it before beginning to sew the officer's mouth shut.  It was harder.  He kept opening his mouth to mess him up.  Remus had to hold his jaw shut so Virgil could work.  It took longer.  The skin was easier to pierce through, sure, but he wanted it to be tight.  Once he was done, he turned back to Patton.</p><p>"Can you do the ending stitch?  I never get those right."</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>Patton finished the last stitch as Remus let go of his jaw.  The officer was making noises that were muffled.  Virgil scooted back, listening to his struggles.  A hand went to his lower back.  They waited for the squirming to stop.  Waited until he passed out from oxygen deprivation.  Virgil kept soaking his finger in blood to drink it.  After maybe the fifth time, Patton grabbed his hand and held him back.  Virgil snorted.  "What?  Are you jealous I'm drinking his blood?"</p><p>"Yes.  I don't like you drinking from other people.  Now, how're you feeling?"</p><p>"I feel pretty safe.  Should we cut off the arms for the rats?"</p><p>"Let the twins do it.  You did a good job killing them all and cleaning.  Why don't you relax for a bit?  You'll have more to clean once we're done.  How did killing feel?  Was it refreshing to do this again?"</p><p>"Yeah.  You know what?  It felt great."</p><p>Patton kissed him again.  Things were normal again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Fae story, then a smut story about short Virgil with heels.</p><p>Thank you all for being so patient with my writing schedule.  Over the summer I only had two classes I was taking, but right now I'm course overloading, so writing is my last concern (need to keep my grades up and stay active in the clubs I lead at university), so I apologize these are taking so long.  Hopefully, I'll be able to write more next semester (don't... don't count on it...I'm overloading again)</p><p>Author fact: was listening to Black Friday soundtrack during this, so, uh, may've written with intense feelings again....My mood swings can be influenced by music if I'm already teetering a bit, so...<br/>Good news: it was a very good mood swing today.  I'm fucking high on this random burst of serotonin, and I'm excited and happy!  Just!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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